personal development, Uncategorized

Stopping Negative Self Talk

Just a quick blog post today but I wanted to share a bit about something which I am becoming more and more aware of:

Self Talk; specifically negative self talk. I have read a couple of books. One in particular which resonated with me was You are a Badass which is all about conquering self doubt and becoming the best version of yourself.

Whether you think you
Can
Or you think you
Can't
You are rught

Self doubt and negative self talk can end up consuming you. It can start with a thought in the morning like ‘I’m always late’ or ‘I am always losing things’ and the negativity will start to breed and can take over your whole day. These are actually common thoughts I have at the start of the day and it stems down to something which I know I can easily change; my organisation skills and getting up earlier.

I am the kind of person who can be organised or get up early when I know that I absolutely have to. Like years ago when I was a teacher I would be up and out by 7.20am because I wanted to get my admin done prior to starting my day. I also manage to organise my equipment when I am going to see a client. However, when it comes to getting the kids to gymnastics on time or knowing where my keys are it’s a different story.

Therefore sometimes the best way to stop the negative self talk in situations like that is to take simple steps to preventing the situations-like getting up ten minutes earlier or having a specific place to put the keys.

The trickier negative self talk to ditch is that about our personal qualities and abilities. Things like ‘I have no friends’ , ‘I attract one idiot after another’ or ‘nothing every goes right for me’. These are harder to hit on the head as they are instilled in us by our experiences, sometimes right from childhood.

When we have a limiting belief like this which is deep routed, we go around looking for things all the time which confirm this belief. We also end up attracting these situations a it is the view we are putting out there.Believe

For me the first step in challenging this is recognising when we are having a negative belief and acknowledging it. A tip I recently read in Katie Piper’s new book Confidence is to have a word which shuts down the negative thought and stops it in its tracks. It’s best to make it a neutral word and it can be something really random and funny. Mine is ‘Sausages’ .

This word is then your trigger to turn that belief around. Tell yourself the complete opposite. Even if you don;t believe it one bit. Once you start doing this you feel so much better.

The same goes with if you have to do something which you don’t want to do-sometimes for me it is simple things like emptying the cat litter tray or cleaning the bathroom. Nothing can change the fact you have to do it, the only thing which you have any control over is the attitude you have about it. You have a choice about whether to go about it in a positive way  or negative complaining way. If it’s a really yucky task like cleaning the bathroom focus on the outcome-‘once it is done it’s done for another week and I can enjoy looking at a clean sparkling sink instead of one full of toothpaste stains.

So anyway, I will be writing a bit more about this as I look into this further but it’s an ongoing thing which I am working on and I think it’s something which can help anyone to ‘enhance’ their lives even in the smallest ways.

xxx

personal development, Uncategorized

Setting goals and achieving them…

As I mentioned in my previous post, I have been thinking about goals for the coming year. While I fully believe we can make resolutions to change aspects of ourselves or lives at anyone time; not just the start of a new year I think sometimes we kind of put stuff on hold over the festive season so we need that boot up the backside of the start of a new year.

AnywayI wanted to share what I have done as part of my goal setting and quest to self improvement. It’s something I heard about on Facebook from a lady who has been very successful with her Arbonne business. It relates to every aspect of life not just business or work.

You may be familiar with this method particularly if you have worked in the health sector, education or social work. It was totally new to me though.

Basically it involves the following:

1. Draw a large circle and divide it in half, then quarters, then Eighths and so on with lines. 

2. In each segment write an area of your life which is significant to you (e.g. Kids, work, diet, home, love)

3. Now along each line below where you have written your area write numbers one to 10

4. The next step is to rate on a scale of one to ten where you see yourself on each aspect.

5. Now take a journal and write in it why you have given yourself that number and also WHAT you need to do to move forward one point by this time next month (just one point even if you have a low rating for that area).

6. At the end of each month review each area and whether you feel you can move forward a point and once again write down what needs to be done to move forward another point next month.

It does take some time if you do it properly (it took me about an hour and a half) but if you are totally committed to self improvement it’s such a valuable exercise.

personal development, Uncategorized

New Year’s Resolutions

Inevitably at this time of year, even if we are not ones for jumping on the ‘New Year, New Me’  band wagon, most of us start to reflect on the past year, make plans and set goals for the coming year. My new year’s resolutions  are usually along the lines of ‘eat healthily, exercise more, stop complaining, find a new job, be more organised’ – the same as most people my age with my kind of life style no doubt.

I have in the past set some which I have actually stuck to. One year (I think  2010) my goal was to do interesting learning activities with my kids-I kept this up until my youngest started nursery and actually blogged about the things we did. Another circa 2012 was to lose the weight I had gained while pregnant (yes I know I had my youngest in 2008). I joined slimming world and have actually managed to stay somewhere between a size 9

This year, however, I am looking to make my resolutions (or rather goals or aspirations) more specific.Having either worked or been in education for literally all my life, I am more than familiar with setting SMART targets along with ‘self assessment’ and goal setting’ . Additionally I have thought about aspects of my life which I need to improve on in order to make life easier and make me a better person living my life more effectively.

Therefore I prefer to call them New Year Plans rather than resolutions. Here they are:

1. Get up an hour earlier each day– I am constantly complaining that I don’t have enough time or that I am always rushing about.Plus I am basically a complete tress head in the mornings. Eventually my aim is to get up two hours earlier each morning (imagine all the extra things which can be done in those two hours).

2. Read at least 10 pages of a self development book each day– I am a huge believer in personal growth and development particularly since reading The Secret and fully understanding the power of our thoughts and self belief. This goes hand in hand with getting up earlier each morning as I will be fitting my reading in to this extra time.

3. Try one new recipe each week-  One area where I seriously lack is in the kitchen. My main issue is that I don’t particularly enjoy cooking coupled with the fact that being on my own with two fussy kids basically means if they don’t eat what I have prepared there is really only me to eat and enjoy it meaning all the effort in the kitchen seems a waste. None the less it’s an area I need to improve on and I have some great recipe books.

4.Exercise Daily-This doesn’t mean a full on workout every day, it could be as simple as 20 sit ups in the evening but every little bit adds up and contributes to the greater result. My goal is to do 30-60 minutes exercise at least 3 times a week combined with short bursts of exercise when I can.

I feel like I should have a fifth one as four seems an odd number (obviously I know it’s an even number). However goals such as being succesful in growing and developing my massage and beauty and network marketing businesses kind of interplay with the first two goals really. Getting up earlier will give me more time to get things done and personal development will increase my confidence, self belief and discipline.

I also hope to spend more time blogging and to get better at it.

What goals and resolutions are you setting for 2017 xx

personal development

Learning to love Autumn

So all of a sudden it looks like Summer is over and Autumn is here with a vengeance. The nights are getting darker earlier and the mornings are getting colder; the shorts have been  packed away and the tans are fading.

If I am totally honest-I don’t like Autumn! Facebook is full of posts going on about Halloween, Autumn clothes and beautiful colours. However, for me it just reminds me of what is around the corner, Winter! Yeah I love Christmas, absolutely love it, but I don’t like the cold and dark. Also, working in education September is HARD..

Anyway, enough negativity, I am not creating this blog to moan, quite the opposite in fact. I am all about embracing positivity. Here are a few things I am doing or have done to learn to love Autumn:

  1. Enrolled on a college course: I am a firm believer in constantly updating your learning. Being a massage and beauty therapist this is especially important as I want to be able to offer more and more treatments to my clients. Therefore I am doing a level three nail qualification. More than that though, it gives me something to look forward to in the evening once a week plus a break from the mundanity of the evening and bed time routine with the kids-if you are a mum you must be familirar with it-that time between coming in from school and bedtime. In summer it’s not so bad because you can go in the garden or to the park but mid week when its wet and cold it’s like ‘er what do we do’. So even if you aren’t looking to change careers or in need of professional development, consider doing a leisure course. You never know where it might take you.
  2. Setting fitness goals: I admit, the last few months I have been busy getting my business going and spending weekends at my parent’s caravan so my fitness and gym routine has all but disappeared. However, I know how much exercising improves my state of mind and the posivitity I gain from reaching fitness goals transfers to other aspects of my life too.
  3. Getting jobs done on the house: Ok so one advantage of the cold dark nights is no longer feeling compelled to be outside as much as possible. Therefore I can spend time doing all the things which need doing around the house-a huge on being decorating the hallway which has been an ongoing project since May 2015. Seriously.
  4. Making a vision board: If you have never heard of vision boards google it. It’s something I am involving the children in too but works on the premise that what you believe you have and what you ask of the universe you receive in abundance. Working in education, Septemeber feels like the start of a new year so perfect time to set goals.
  5. Reading/listening to audios: I do a mix of both these really. Audios are great for listening to at night and also in the car (obviously in the car you wouldn’t listen to anything which would make you feel sleepy). With audios I like to listen to personal development stuff (I prefer that term to self help). I absolutely love The Secret. In terms of reading I love a books which are a bit psychological but are still easy to read.

Do you love Autumn? What are you doing to make the last few months of the year fabulous for you xxxrubbish-weather