personal development, Uncategorized

Stopping Negative Self Talk

Just a quick blog post today but I wanted to share a bit about something which I am becoming more and more aware of:

Self Talk; specifically negative self talk. I have read a couple of books. One in particular which resonated with me was You are a Badass which is all about conquering self doubt and becoming the best version of yourself.

Whether you think you
Can
Or you think you
Can't
You are rught

Self doubt and negative self talk can end up consuming you. It can start with a thought in the morning like ‘I’m always late’ or ‘I am always losing things’ and the negativity will start to breed and can take over your whole day. These are actually common thoughts I have at the start of the day and it stems down to something which I know I can easily change; my organisation skills and getting up earlier.

I am the kind of person who can be organised or get up early when I know that I absolutely have to. Like years ago when I was a teacher I would be up and out by 7.20am because I wanted to get my admin done prior to starting my day. I also manage to organise my equipment when I am going to see a client. However, when it comes to getting the kids to gymnastics on time or knowing where my keys are it’s a different story.

Therefore sometimes the best way to stop the negative self talk in situations like that is to take simple steps to preventing the situations-like getting up ten minutes earlier or having a specific place to put the keys.

The trickier negative self talk to ditch is that about our personal qualities and abilities. Things like ‘I have no friends’ , ‘I attract one idiot after another’ or ‘nothing every goes right for me’. These are harder to hit on the head as they are instilled in us by our experiences, sometimes right from childhood.

When we have a limiting belief like this which is deep routed, we go around looking for things all the time which confirm this belief. We also end up attracting these situations a it is the view we are putting out there.Believe

For me the first step in challenging this is recognising when we are having a negative belief and acknowledging it. A tip I recently read in Katie Piper’s new book Confidence is to have a word which shuts down the negative thought and stops it in its tracks. It’s best to make it a neutral word and it can be something really random and funny. Mine is ‘Sausages’ .

This word is then your trigger to turn that belief around. Tell yourself the complete opposite. Even if you don;t believe it one bit. Once you start doing this you feel so much better.

The same goes with if you have to do something which you don’t want to do-sometimes for me it is simple things like emptying the cat litter tray or cleaning the bathroom. Nothing can change the fact you have to do it, the only thing which you have any control over is the attitude you have about it. You have a choice about whether to go about it in a positive way  or negative complaining way. If it’s a really yucky task like cleaning the bathroom focus on the outcome-‘once it is done it’s done for another week and I can enjoy looking at a clean sparkling sink instead of one full of toothpaste stains.

So anyway, I will be writing a bit more about this as I look into this further but it’s an ongoing thing which I am working on and I think it’s something which can help anyone to ‘enhance’ their lives even in the smallest ways.

xxx

personal development

Beat the January Blues

I have had this blog post in mind for a few days but haven’t got around to actually typing it out.

January gets such a bad rep, the other day while I was plodding away on the treadmill I was thinking how sad it was that Christmas is over, it’s cold and there is nothing to look forward to, not to mention being skint from Christmas and on a healthy eating challenge. However, that then got me thinking-a lot of the things we look forward to or associate with having a good time involve spending money, eating lots and often drinking alcohol too. Why is this? I know it’s certainly true of me. In the past when I have been on a diet I have treated myself to a shopping spree to cheer myself up. Or likewise if I have been on a spending diet or skint I’ll cheer myself up with naughty food. Talking to other people, the general consensus is January is a bit of a rubbish come down after the excitement of Christmas.

It got me wondering then, what can I do to change these associations or pleasure and enjoyment being from potentially unhealthy habits.From this I came to a couple of conclusions. The first being about balance really, rather than needing to always have something to look forward to or counting down the days to the weekend or next holiday or when the weather gets warmer or lights get lighter I should learn to be more present in the moment. Life shouldn’t need to be about having something to look forward to. It should be balanced enough that you don’t need something to be counting down to. Nor should it be necessary to need to spend money, eat unhealthy food or drink alcohol as means of seeking pleasure.

At first I thought maybe have something simple to look forward to each day like a bath, reading a good book or listening to a meditation app. These are positive habits. I then also thought I should live in the moment more rather than needing ‘something to look forward to’. Don’t get me wrong it is nice to have a treat-As a massage therapist I’m advertising my January offers as ‘something to look forward to after the excitement of Christmas. However at the same time it’s important to be present in the moment a well at looking at changes we can make to make our lives more balanced.

What do you think? It’s something I am kind of working on as I don’t have a specific answer yet, it was just a thought which came over me and got me thinking..

personal development, Uncategorized

Setting goals and achieving them…

As I mentioned in my previous post, I have been thinking about goals for the coming year. While I fully believe we can make resolutions to change aspects of ourselves or lives at anyone time; not just the start of a new year I think sometimes we kind of put stuff on hold over the festive season so we need that boot up the backside of the start of a new year.

AnywayI wanted to share what I have done as part of my goal setting and quest to self improvement. It’s something I heard about on Facebook from a lady who has been very successful with her Arbonne business. It relates to every aspect of life not just business or work.

You may be familiar with this method particularly if you have worked in the health sector, education or social work. It was totally new to me though.

Basically it involves the following:

1. Draw a large circle and divide it in half, then quarters, then Eighths and so on with lines. 

2. In each segment write an area of your life which is significant to you (e.g. Kids, work, diet, home, love)

3. Now along each line below where you have written your area write numbers one to 10

4. The next step is to rate on a scale of one to ten where you see yourself on each aspect.

5. Now take a journal and write in it why you have given yourself that number and also WHAT you need to do to move forward one point by this time next month (just one point even if you have a low rating for that area).

6. At the end of each month review each area and whether you feel you can move forward a point and once again write down what needs to be done to move forward another point next month.

It does take some time if you do it properly (it took me about an hour and a half) but if you are totally committed to self improvement it’s such a valuable exercise.